Medical advances and increased understanding of the social determinants of health have contributed to what social scientists refer to as the “Graying of America.” Simply put, Americans are living longer, healthier lives. Recent U.S. Census data places the number of older adults aged 65 and older at 40 million or roughly 14% of the total U.S. population. Additionally, as reported by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, there are currently 3 million gay and lesbian older adults living in America, and this number is expected to double by 2030. Older adults are faced with various challenges from mobility issues to cognitive declines. Fortunately, formal and informal caregivers are investing much time and energy into caring for the elderly. Though many older adults are receiving much support from these caregivers, I argue that the LGBTQ population is not receiving the support they need. Indeed, our LGBTQ elders face unique challenges that need to be addressed. Only then can we ensure that our older community members are living healthy, fulfilling lives up until the very end. In this article, I will list 2 challenges that I consider to be understated and yet I find to be of particular importance. I will then conclude with possible steps that we as a community can take to face these challenges.
Problem 1) Aging in a Youth Oriented Culture
Citizens of the United States value youth. Aging in such a youth oriented culture places pressure on older adults to look as young and beautiful as possible. In other words, people are expected to ‘age gracefully’ (this is especially true for women, but men also face pressures). Though most older adults experience this societal pressure to look young and beautiful, there is reason to believe that the LGBTQ culture may perpetuate this pressure. With this pressure comes a desire to hold on to our youthful appearance for as long as possible. When we are unable to, we experience stress, depressive symptoms, even suicide ideation. Despite the fact that the U.S. values youth, many younger adults hold respect and reverence for their elders. Research has shown that this reverence may not be as prevalent in the LGBTQ subculture relative to mainstream culture. This is not due to a lack of concern per se. Rather, it is due to the invisibility of LGBTQ older adults. Stigma and fear have led many ‘out’ gay and lesbians back into the closet as they age. A part of this fear is due to a belief that they have no more purpose in a culture where youth is emphasized. In his 1985 book, Quiet Fire: Memoirs of Older Gay Men, Keith Vacha concludes that stereotypes held by younger gay and lesbians contribute to this thought that older gay men and lesbians just wink out of existence. Because of their invisibility, older gay and lesbian women lose the potential to serve are mentors and role models, and thus, become disengaged from the very community that they helped build and sustain. My point is not to criticize the community for its focus on youth. It is understandable that our community focuses on youth seeing how many members of our community have died from AIDS and therefore did not live long lives. But we must not be caught up with the past. Many gay and lesbian members of our community have lived to a ripe old age and we need to acknowledge them.
Problem 2)Caregiving: Family of Choice v. Family of Origin
In terms of caregiving, LGBTQ older adults face numerous challenges. Formal caregivers such as nurses, physicians and social workers may not be adequately trained to properly care for older gays, lesbians and transgendered individuals in terms of their psychosocial wellbeing and quality of life. Further, informal caregiving, defined as care given by untrained individuals (i.e. daughter, spouse, partner) is also an issue for the older LGBTQ population. Sociologists who research sexual minorities distinguish between families of origin (our biological kin) with families of choice (friends, partners, spouses). As noted by Kristina Hash, a social gerontologist, older gay and lesbians are far more likely to receive care from families of choice due to severing of ties with the family (recall, these individuals identified as gay and lesbian in a time when homosexuality was viewed as a mental disease and the prevalence of familial disownment was much higher than it is today). The strain on caregivers is great. Investing so much time and energy into caring for an older adult limits the time caregivers invest on themselves. This leads to a deterioration of their own health. Despite this strain experienced, caregivers receive much support from outside institutions. However, the sad truth is that these organizations are more likely to help biological kin and spouses than friends and partners. Further, certain rights (hospital visitations and medical orders) are reserved for family and spouses. Because marriage is still outlawed in most states, partners and significant others caring for an older adult loved one find that they are unable to serve to their full capacities as advocates for their loved one’s health and well being.
Though I have only detailed 2 unique challenges, there are several more including physical and mental health inequalities, vestigial stigma, ageism compounded by homophobia, loneliness, and sexual health issues. As challenging as these problems are, we can make a difference.
Solution 1) In terms of our focus on youth, we can value the young and the beautiful but we don’t have to do this at the expense of our elders. These brave men and women experienced the Stonewall Riots, the pathologization of homosexuality, and fought tirelessly for the rights that we enjoy today. I encourage you to reach out. Seek out older members of our community and befriend them. Let them mentor you. Their wisdom and experience is highly valuable. They deserve our respect and our acknowledgement. Though they are invisible, it is only because we are not letting ourselves see them.
Solution 2) This change must come at the societal level. Though we cannot rewrite laws overnight and overhaul the currently busted policies that deny our community our basic, human rights, we can provide support to organizations that have made it their mission to support older LGBTQ adults and their caregivers. I implore you to visit the website of SAGE: Services and Advocacy for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered Elders at http://www.sageusa.org/. Learn about their organization and consider helping out.
In sum, our community faces several challenges. And though we are facing those challenges head on, we can be doing more for our LGBTQ elders. They helped to build our present. Let’s help build their future.
~KJSW
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